1 00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,077 Principal Vagina here -- 2 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,204 Don't let me name fool you. I'm very much in charge -- 3 00:00:36,287 --> 00:00:39,123 reminding you that tonight is our annual Flu Season Dance. 4 00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,167 l don't know how many times l have to say this, 5 00:00:41,251 --> 00:00:43,127 but if you have the flu, stay home. 6 00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,128 Hey. 7 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,047 The Flu Season Dance is about awareness, not celebration. 8 00:00:47,549 --> 00:00:49,384 You don't bring dead babies to Passover. 9 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:53,471 Okay. Here we go. H-Hey, Jessica. Uh... 10 00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:55,515 What's up, Morty? 11 00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,808 What are you doing? 12 00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:58,518 - Um... - Wait, wait. 13 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:00,728 Were you about to talk... to her? 14 00:01:00,812 --> 00:01:03,231 Well... I mean, I was thinking about it. 15 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,275 Dude, stay in your league. 16 00:01:05,358 --> 00:01:07,610 Look at how hot she is. You don't see me going... 17 00:01:07,694 --> 00:01:09,445 to a bigger school in a wealthier district 18 00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:11,114 and hitting on their prettiest girl. 19 00:01:11,197 --> 00:01:12,532 Gee, thanks, Brad. 20 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,242 I throw balls far. 21 00:01:14,325 --> 00:01:15,827 You want good words? 22 00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,537 Date a Languager. 23 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,372 Try not to worry about it, Morty. 24 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,207 You're a good kid, and there's not a premium 25 00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:23,042 on that right now, but you'll be getting girls 26 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,752 sometime after Brad's out of shape. 27 00:01:24,836 --> 00:01:26,421 You're missing the point, Dad. 28 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:29,048 I don't want girls. I want Jessica. 29 00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,926 Ah, well, I remember feeling that way 30 00:01:32,010 --> 00:01:34,095 about a young lady named "your mom," 31 00:01:34,178 --> 00:01:35,555 and that's not an urban diss. 32 00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:37,140 Your mom was my Jessica. 33 00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:38,641 I remember the first time I saw her. 34 00:01:38,725 --> 00:01:40,184 I thought -- - "I should get her pregnant, 35 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,686 and then she'll have to marry me." 36 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,896 I beg your pardon, Rick -- inappropriate. 37 00:01:43,980 --> 00:01:45,565 Sorry, please proceed with your story 38 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:47,275 about banging my daughter in high school. 39 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:49,694 I'm not sure you wanna take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. 40 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,696 His marriage is hanging from a thread. 41 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,073 My marriage is fine, thank you. 42 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,700 Jerry, it's your house -- whatever you say it is 43 00:01:55,783 --> 00:01:57,577 is how it is -- but I think a blind man could see 44 00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:59,287 that Beth is looking for the door. 45 00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,581 I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed. 46 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,875 Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that. 47 00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,710 Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, 48 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,378 but what people call "love" 49 00:02:07,462 --> 00:02:09,714 is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 50 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,383 It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, 51 00:02:12,467 --> 00:02:14,385 leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. 52 00:02:14,469 --> 00:02:16,387 I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. 53 00:02:16,471 --> 00:02:17,764 Break the cycle, Morty. 54 00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:19,641 Rise above. Focus on science. 55 00:02:21,726 --> 00:02:24,604 All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. 56 00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:28,483 Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom. 57 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:32,945 Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? 58 00:02:33,029 --> 00:02:35,782 I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. 59 00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:37,742 It's gonna be great. - Hey, listen, Rick. 60 00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:39,619 Y-Y-You know how you said that, you know, 61 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:41,663 love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? 62 00:02:41,746 --> 00:02:42,955 Well, I was thinking, you know, 63 00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:45,667 w-w-- could you make some sort of chemical thing happen 64 00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:47,210 inside of Jessica's mind, you know, 65 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,878 so where she falls in love with me 66 00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:50,380 and all that sort of thing? 67 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,465 You know, like, some sort of love potion or something? 68 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,133 Morty, that's such a poor use of my time. 69 00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,469 It's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver. 70 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,137 You know what? No, Rick! 71 00:02:58,221 --> 00:02:59,764 I'm not gonna hand you the screwdriver. 72 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,766 I-I'm not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick! 73 00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,185 I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. 74 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:06,354 W-W-W-W-W-What about me, Rick? 75 00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,356 W-W-W-W-Why can't you just help me out once -- 76 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:09,774 once -- for once? 77 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,943 You're growing up fast, Morty. 78 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:15,029 You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass. 79 00:03:15,113 --> 00:03:17,031 Listen, this is called oxytocin. 80 00:03:17,115 --> 00:03:18,491 I extracted it from a vole. 81 00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:20,201 Do you know what a vole is, Morty? 82 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:21,953 You know what a vole is? It's a -- it's a rodent 83 00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,663 that mates for life, Morty. 84 00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:26,040 This is the chemical released in a mammal's brain, you know, 85 00:03:26,124 --> 00:03:27,458 that makes it fall in love. 86 00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,794 I just gotta -- combine it with your DNA. 87 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,629 Oh, well, okay. 88 00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:33,631 A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. 89 00:03:33,715 --> 00:03:35,383 This isn't "Game of Thrones." 90 00:03:35,466 --> 00:03:36,926 Ow! 91 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,928 All right, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on 92 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,972 will fail in love with you, and only you, forever. 93 00:03:41,055 --> 00:03:42,974 Are you happy now, Morty? - Heck, yeah! 94 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,059 Thank you, Grandpa Rick. 95 00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:46,936 Hey, there's no... dangers or anything, 96 00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:48,479 or side effects, right? 97 00:03:48,563 --> 00:03:50,148 W-W-W-What am I, a hack? 98 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,400 Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof. 99 00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:56,988 Eh, unless she has the flu. 100 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,866 Beth, do y-you still love me? 101 00:03:59,949 --> 00:04:02,285 Ugh, what kind of question is that? 102 00:04:02,368 --> 00:04:04,203 The "yes or no" kind? 103 00:04:04,287 --> 00:04:06,706 Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes? 104 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:07,957 Yes. 105 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,041 Are you gonna build them? 106 00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,168 No. 107 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:11,836 Then what good was the "yes"? 108 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,839 Wait, I-is loving me the house or the homeless people? 109 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,717 Loving you is work, Jerry -- hard work, 110 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,719 like building a homeless shelter -- 111 00:04:19,802 --> 00:04:21,637 nobody wants to say no to doing it, 112 00:04:21,721 --> 00:04:23,347 but some people put the work in. 113 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,516 So, what do you say? Do you see me working here? 114 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,894 Does this conversation seem tedious to me? 115 00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:29,228 Sort of. 116 00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,938 Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I? 117 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,025 So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more. 118 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:36,027 Crap, they need me at the horse hospital. 119 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,278 Puh! This late? 120 00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:39,572 The racetrack had a starlight derby. 121 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:41,115 There was a seven-horse collision, 122 00:04:41,199 --> 00:04:43,075 and Davin's there alone. 123 00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:45,995 Davin. Davin. 124 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,206 Davin!Davin. 125 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:50,541 Davin! Davin! 126 00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:52,919 Davin! Davin! 127 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,921 ? Flu, yo. You gotta be aware ? 128 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,923 ? Aware of all the flu up in the air ? 129 00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:59,592 ? I'm-a get me a shot, make the flu go away ? 130 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,886 ? Flu-hating rapper, just rapping away ? 131 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,263 ? Yo, yo, flu-hating rapper ? 132 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,598 ? It's a flu-hating rap ? 133 00:05:05,681 --> 00:05:09,977 Hey, there, Jessica. Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! 134 00:05:10,061 --> 00:05:12,522 Oh, my god. Morty. 135 00:05:12,605 --> 00:05:14,774 You look reality nice tonight. 136 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,777 - Wow, thanks. - I love you, Morty! 137 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:19,779 I love you so much it burns! 138 00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,782 Oh, man! I-l love you too, Jessica! 139 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:25,993 Is this punk bothering you, Jessica? 140 00:05:26,077 --> 00:05:28,412 Leave him alone, jerk! I'm in love with him! 141 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,414 He is more man than you will ever be! 142 00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,584 ? This is about flu awareness ? 143 00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:36,212 ? Gotta be aware of the flu in the air-ness ? 144 00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,548 ? Yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper ? 145 00:05:38,631 --> 00:05:40,550 Oh, man, Morty. 146 00:05:40,633 --> 00:05:42,218 I'm reality sorry. 147 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,637 Oh, well, n-no problem, Brad. 148 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,889 There's something special about you, Morty -- 149 00:05:46,973 --> 00:05:48,307 so special. 150 00:05:48,391 --> 00:05:50,309 Whoa, take it easy! Get your hands off of him! 151 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,311 Back off! I'm trying to be with my man! 152 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,896 That's enough, Bradley! 153 00:05:53,980 --> 00:05:55,648 We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm. 154 00:05:55,731 --> 00:05:57,149 Oh, come on, Principal Vagina. I just... 155 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,402 Never leave me, Morty. Never! 156 00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,446 Uh, sure. I mean, o-of course not. 157 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:04,949 W-What do you think that was all about? 158 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,701 Who cares? Just hold me. 159 00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:09,120 Let me go! I love you, Morty! 160 00:06:10,413 --> 00:06:11,956 Let go of me! 161 00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:14,709 Morty! 162 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:21,424 She's gonna be alone with that guy all night. 163 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,426 Yeah, Dad, digging around the insides of horses. 164 00:06:23,509 --> 00:06:25,219 It's not a very romantic setting. 165 00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:26,971 Well, Summer, there's always the possibility 166 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,681 that she made the whole work thing up. 167 00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,683 Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides. 168 00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:33,644 Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom. 169 00:06:33,728 --> 00:06:35,313 Well, she's my daughter, Summer. 170 00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:36,814 I outrank you. 171 00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:39,567 Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card. 172 00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:41,360 She's not responding to my texts! 173 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,821 Careful, Dad. Jealousy turns women off. 174 00:06:43,905 --> 00:06:45,573 Well, isn't that convenient? 175 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,366 Not for the men they cheat on, no. 176 00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,785 Okay, I'm... going to go out... 177 00:06:49,869 --> 00:06:51,120 for some ice cream. 178 00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:52,705 And maybe stop by the hospital... 179 00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,665 to support my wife... 180 00:06:54,749 --> 00:06:56,959 with my confidence. 181 00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:59,170 God, Grandpa, you're such a dick. 182 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,964 I'm sorry, Summer. Your opinion means very little to me. 183 00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:04,133 How come you're not at this stupid dance everyone loves? 184 00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:06,135 Screw that. I don't wanna get sick. 185 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:07,887 It's flu season. - It is? 186 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:09,597 - Yeah. - Uh-oh. 187 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,063 Please just let this work out. 188 00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:20,024 Do it, Morty. Do it. 189 00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:23,069 Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life! 190 00:07:24,195 --> 00:07:26,948 Um... can we maybe go somewhere more private? 191 00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:29,116 Jessica, get a hold of yourself! 192 00:07:30,785 --> 00:07:33,454 You don't deserve to carry Morty's genes. 193 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:35,665 ? I love Morty ? 194 00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:38,167 ? And I hope Morty loves me ? 195 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,878 ? I'd like to wrap my arms around him ? 196 00:07:40,962 --> 00:07:43,172 ? And feel him inside me ? 197 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,757 Oh, crap. 198 00:07:47,343 --> 00:07:49,261 Morty! 199 00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:51,764 Morty, come on! We gotta get you out of here. 200 00:07:51,847 --> 00:07:53,766 You won't believe this 'cause it usually never happens, 201 00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,226 but I made a mistake. 202 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,437 Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. 203 00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,355 Come on. - Morty! 204 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:00,564 Are you okay? 205 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,441 - I'm fine! - Oh, good. 206 00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:05,111 If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. 207 00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:07,279 I love you bad, Mo-Mo! 208 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,202 Morty, the principal and I have discussed it, 209 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:16,789 a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! 210 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,211 I didn't realize when I gave you that serum 211 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,088 that Jessica had the flu -- you know, 212 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,924 t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me! 213 00:08:27,008 --> 00:08:28,259 What the hell is going on, Rick? 214 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,802 What does it look like? 215 00:08:29,885 --> 00:08:31,470 T-T-T-The serum is piggybacking on the virus. 216 00:08:31,554 --> 00:08:32,972 It's gone airborne, Morty. 217 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:35,516 Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick? 218 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:37,101 It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. 219 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:38,227 I whipped up an antidote. 220 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:40,479 It's based on praying-mantis DNA. 221 00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,481 You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles. 222 00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:43,816 I mean, they -- they mate once, 223 00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,735 and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. 224 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,236 I mean, it's a whole ritual. 225 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,363 It's really gruesome and totally opposite. 226 00:08:49,447 --> 00:08:50,781 There's no love at all. 227 00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:53,242 I-I-l basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. 228 00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:55,786 It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. 229 00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:57,496 It'll all be over very shortly. 230 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:04,045 Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, 231 00:09:04,128 --> 00:09:06,047 but I'm not interested in having sex with you. 232 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:07,757 These serums, they don't work on anybody 233 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,175 related to you genetically. 234 00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,136 Morty! 235 00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,607 Okay, well, sometimes, 236 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,609 science is more art than science, Morty. 237 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,569 A lot of people don't get that. 238 00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,703 Come on. Are you kidding me? 239 00:09:37,787 --> 00:09:40,664 Hello! - Morty! 240 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,751 You're not Morty! Bring us Morty! 241 00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:53,761 Nobody's killing me... 242 00:09:53,844 --> 00:09:57,014 until after I catch my wife with another man. 243 00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:59,350 l had sex with Billy 244 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,185 But you were already pregnant! 245 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,770 Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? 246 00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,648 We interrupt ""Pregnant Baby"" with breaking news. 247 00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:07,274 Come on. 248 00:10:07,358 --> 00:10:09,735 This justin -- Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown. 249 00:10:09,819 --> 00:10:11,779 What the hell? 250 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:14,615 The only thing that is known is... how cute he is. 251 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:17,201 I love him so much, I want to make love to him 252 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:18,869 and then eat his head 253 00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,871 I love him more than you do, Harold-ol-d! 254 00:10:20,955 --> 00:10:22,623 You wish, you stupid bitch! 255 00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,250 - Morty's mine! - Morty's mine! 256 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,709 Meant to be together! 257 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,879 Morty! 258 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,762 Where is Morty? 259 00:10:50,192 --> 00:10:53,529 Oh, my god, Rick. The whole word is infected! 260 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:55,739 Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. 261 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,992 I've reality outdone myself. - Outdone yourself?! 262 00:10:58,075 --> 00:10:59,910 W-W-- a-are -- are you kidding me, Rick? 263 00:10:59,994 --> 00:11:01,537 This is not okay! 264 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,330 Not only do they all want to have sex with me, 265 00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:05,332 but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards! 266 00:11:05,416 --> 00:11:06,792 Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. 267 00:11:06,876 --> 00:11:08,544 Mantises are the opposite of voles? 268 00:11:08,627 --> 00:11:11,255 I mean, obviously, DNA's more complicated than that. 269 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,631 You know what, though, Morty? 270 00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:14,466 This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. 271 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:16,969 It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, 272 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:19,305 cactus, shark, golden retriever, 273 00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:21,182 and just a smidge of dinosaur. 274 00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:22,933 Should add up to normal humanity. 275 00:11:23,017 --> 00:11:24,768 I don't -- that doesn't make any sense, Rick. 276 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:26,812 How does that add up to normal humanity? 277 00:11:26,896 --> 00:11:28,564 What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? 278 00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,232 I'm sorry -- a-are you the scientist 279 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,109 or are you the kid that wanted to get laid? 280 00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,156 Well, I'm glad we saved all those horses, 281 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:39,158 but I'm almost sorry we're finished. 282 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:40,743 Yes, it's satisfying work. 283 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:42,912 Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh -- it's more than the work. 284 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:45,414 I love being in that sterilized room, 285 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,666 sealed off from the world. 286 00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,002 It's the only time I can reality think... and feel. 287 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,589 Hmm, uh, what are you doing? 288 00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,758 I'm playing African dream pop. 289 00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,968 What do you do after a long night? 290 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:02,014 Oh, ha, um, hey, I b-- I'd better get going. 291 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:04,767 Um, Jerry's been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff. 292 00:12:04,850 --> 00:12:06,727 - Beth... - What is it, Davin? 293 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,647 Just once, I'd like to know -- 294 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,235 ...w-w-what it was like to give your son a bath. 295 00:12:14,318 --> 00:12:15,402 What?! 296 00:12:15,486 --> 00:12:18,822 What does Morty's skin smell like? 297 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:21,450 How soft... 298 00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,869 How soft are his privates? 299 00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:25,788 Let go of me, Davin! 300 00:12:31,669 --> 00:12:33,796 Take me to Morty. 301 00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,924 You're not Morty. 302 00:12:37,007 --> 00:12:39,468 No, I'm Mr. Crowbar, 303 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,804 and this is my friend, 304 00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,098 who is also a crowbar. 305 00:12:44,181 --> 00:12:45,975 That's... stupid. 306 00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,020 Yeah? 307 00:12:50,104 --> 00:12:51,855 Well, look where being smart got you. 308 00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,857 Jerry! Thank God! 309 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,025 God? 310 00:12:55,109 --> 00:12:58,112 God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth. 311 00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,281 I'm the one beating them to death. 312 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:02,616 Thank me. - Thank you, Jerry. 313 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,034 Thank you. 314 00:13:08,664 --> 00:13:10,749 Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in, 315 00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,293 because, you know, once I pull this lever, 316 00:13:12,376 --> 00:13:13,669 it's all back to normal. 317 00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,212 Just do it already. 318 00:13:15,296 --> 00:13:17,047 Well, technically, Morty, there's no rush. 319 00:13:17,131 --> 00:13:18,966 I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done. 320 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,801 It's fixed. You know, we could -- 321 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,803 we could just enjoy it for a tittle bit. 322 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,263 I mean, I-I-i-look at how crazy it is. 323 00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:25,931 I mean, Morty, w-w-when's the next time 324 00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:27,433 you're gonna see something like this? 325 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:28,976 I mean, soak it in, you know? 326 00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:30,644 It's -- it's pretty neat. It's pretty interesting. 327 00:13:30,728 --> 00:13:32,229 That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever. 328 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,030 W-What do we have here, Morty? 329 00:13:41,113 --> 00:13:42,948 Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? 330 00:13:43,032 --> 00:13:45,993 I-l-l-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? 331 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,870 I-I-l bet you feel like the world's smallest man 332 00:13:47,953 --> 00:13:50,164 that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty. 333 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:52,124 Oh, Rick, something's not right. 334 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,792 Yeah, you. 335 00:13:53,876 --> 00:13:55,127 You're not right -- ever. 336 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,004 No, no! Look, you idiot! 337 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,072 Bet you're loving this, Morty. 338 00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,157 This must be the best day of your life. 339 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,077 You get to be the mayor of I-Told-You Town. 340 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,162 You're welcome. 341 00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,965 Hold on. 342 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,778 I wish that shotgun was my penis. 343 00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:05,739 If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway. 344 00:15:05,823 --> 00:15:08,367 I don't get it, and I don't need to. 345 00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,370 Mom! Dad! 346 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,163 Summer! 347 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,291 Where's Morty? 348 00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:17,668 I don't know. 349 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,837 Do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this? 350 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,672 It's not fair to assume that, Summer. 351 00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:23,715 Oh, not fair? Give me a break. 352 00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:25,801 He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, 353 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,261 and he left my mother. 354 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,139 A real man stands by his woman. 355 00:15:35,102 --> 00:15:37,855 ? Tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo ? 356 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:40,524 Boy, I reality Cronenberged the world up, didn't I? 357 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,359 We got a whole planet of Cronenbergs 358 00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,027 walking around down there, Morty. 359 00:15:44,111 --> 00:15:46,113 A-At least they're not in love with you anymore, though. 360 00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,948 That's a huge step in the right direction. 361 00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:50,242 Oh, my God! It's a living nightmare! 362 00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:52,786 How could you be so irresponsible, Rick? 363 00:15:52,870 --> 00:15:55,289 Me irresponsible?! You -- all I wanted you to do 364 00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,040 was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! 365 00:15:57,124 --> 00:15:59,793 You're the one who wanted to be -- wanted me to buckle down 366 00:15:59,877 --> 00:16:02,129 and make you up a... roofie-juice serum 367 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:05,340 so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. 368 00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:08,385 I mean, g-- w-w-w-w-w-- w-- are you kidding me, Morty? 369 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:10,387 You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? 370 00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:11,930 Y-Y-Y-Y-You're a Little creep, Morty. 371 00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:13,307 Y-You're a -- you're -- you're -- 372 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,309 you're just a little creepy... creep person. 373 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,019 All right, fine. I should have just listened to you 374 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,645 when you refused to make the serum. 375 00:16:18,729 --> 00:16:20,564 I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. 376 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,274 But I'll tell you something -- you know what? 377 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,942 You gotta accept your part of the blame! 378 00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:25,736 I'm not the one who fouled up the serum! 379 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,571 I'm not the one who -- who -- who -- 380 00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,031 who haphazardly, you know, 381 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:30,699 mixed a bunch of nonsense together 382 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,493 and created a bunch of Cronenbergs! 383 00:16:32,576 --> 00:16:34,870 You gotta fix this, Rick! - All right, all right, Morty. 384 00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:36,580 You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, 385 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,374 but I do have one emergency solution that I can use 386 00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,293 that'll kind of put everything back to normal, 387 00:16:41,376 --> 00:16:42,753 relatively speaking. 388 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,254 Here, Morty, put this on while I do 389 00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:46,256 a little bit of scouting. 390 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,604 Wow, Rick, I gotta say -- 391 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,731 you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time. 392 00:17:02,814 --> 00:17:04,733 I mean, I-I really thought that the whole place 393 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,610 was gonna be messed up for good, 394 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,570 but here, you did it -- y-y-you -- you -- 395 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:10,322 you figured out that crazy solution, 396 00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:11,490 like you always do. 397 00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:13,325 Whoo! That's some great luck. 398 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:15,327 Come on, Morty. Luck had nothing to do with it. 399 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:18,372 I'm great. That's the real reason. 400 00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:20,499 Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy? 401 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,334 Will you hand me a screwdriver 402 00:17:22,417 --> 00:17:24,169 so I can finish my ionic dis-- defibulizer? 403 00:17:24,253 --> 00:17:26,505 Sure thing, Rick. Here's a screwdriver. 404 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:28,799 All right, Morty. Thank you very much. 405 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,802 We got one screw turn... and two screw turns... 406 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,595 and... 407 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,143 All right, Morty, here we are. 408 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,145 Oh, my god, Rick! Is that us?! 409 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:44,106 W-W-W-We're dead! What is going on, Rick? 410 00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,691 I'm freaking out! 411 00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,359 Calm down, Morty! Look at me! Calm down, Morty! 412 00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:49,069 No, I can't deal with this! 413 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,696 Calm yourself, Morty. 414 00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,281 I can't deal with this, Rick! 415 00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:53,782 - Calm down, Morty. - This can't be real! 416 00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:55,993 - You gotta calm down, Morty. - W-W-W-W-We're ripped apart! 417 00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,953 Shut up and listen to me! 418 00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,288 It's fine. Everything is fine. 419 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,789 There's an infinite number of realities, Morty, 420 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,541 and in a few dozen of those, 421 00:18:02,624 --> 00:18:04,585 I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. 422 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,336 I just had to find one of those realities 423 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,047 in which we also happen to both die around this time. 424 00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,591 Now we can just slip into the place 425 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:12,175 of our dead selves in this reality 426 00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,844 and everything will be fine. 427 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,345 We're not skipping a beat, Morty. 428 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:16,430 Now, help me with these bodies. 429 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,598 This is insane. 430 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,808 Look, Morty, I'll grab myself, you grab yourself, okay? 431 00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,268 I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me -- 432 00:18:21,351 --> 00:18:23,270 I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up. 433 00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:25,355 Rick, what about the reality we left behind? 434 00:18:25,439 --> 00:18:28,108 What about the reality where Hitter cured cancer, Morty? 435 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,610 The answer is don't think about it. 436 00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,820 It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. 437 00:18:31,903 --> 00:18:33,447 We get three or four more of these, tops. 438 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:35,282 Now, pick up your dead self and come on. 439 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:36,617 Haste makes waste. 440 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,827 I-I-l don't suppose you've considered this detail, 441 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,413 but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, 442 00:18:41,496 --> 00:18:45,334 we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome. 443 00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:55,260 ? Look on down from the bridge ? 444 00:18:55,344 --> 00:19:02,434 ? There's still fountains down there ? 445 00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:11,193 ? Look on down from the bridge ? 446 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:18,533 ? It's still raining up here ? 447 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:29,044 ? Everybody seems so far away from me ? 448 00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:36,718 ? Everybody just wants to be free ? 449 00:19:36,802 --> 00:19:42,891 ? Look away from the sky ? 450 00:19:42,974 --> 00:19:49,690 ? It's no different when you're leaving home ? 451 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:58,573 ? I can't be the same thing to you now ? 452 00:19:58,657 --> 00:20:02,577 ? I'm just gone ? 453 00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:08,291 ? Just gone ? 454 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:15,382 ? How could I say goodbye? ? 455 00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:20,512 ? How could I say goodbye? ? 456 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:24,266 You know, the thing about a shark... 457 00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,727 he's got Lifeless eyes... 458 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,729 black eyes, like a doll's eyes. 459 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:30,313 When he comes at ya, 460 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,315 he doesn't seem to be living until he bites ya, 461 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,277 and then the -- the blood, and the red, and the water... 462 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:38,572 You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty? 463 00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:41,408 Sometimes. But, I'm ashamed to admit, 464 00:20:41,491 --> 00:20:47,038 now that they're gone, I'm finally happy. 465 00:20:47,122 --> 00:20:49,249 Here we are, Cronenberg Morty -- 466 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,876 a reality where everyone in the word 467 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,335 got genetically Cronenberged. 468 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,504 We'll fit right in, Cronenberg Morty. 469 00:20:54,588 --> 00:20:56,965 It'll be like we never even left Cronenberg world. 470 00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,425 Yeah, Cronenberg Rick, 471 00:20:58,508 --> 00:21:00,302 but, you know, I'm gonna miss Cronenberg word, 472 00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:01,970 because everyone was Cronenberged all along 473 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:03,722 like us from the beginning, you know? 474 00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:05,348 I mean, I-I wish we hadn't genetically ruined 475 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,350 Cronenberg World beyond repair like we did, 476 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,978 you know, and turned everyone into regular, normal people 477 00:21:10,061 --> 00:21:11,521 just walking around. 478 00:21:11,605 --> 00:21:13,190 Don't you worry about that sort of thing, 479 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,357 Cronenberg Morty. 480 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,736 Let's go make ourselves at home, huh? 481 00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:22,866 Did you get any of that? 482 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,910 It's a good-a show!